He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
