She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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