Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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