you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
