I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
