TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
