Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
