you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
