Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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