You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
