we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
