she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
