Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
