dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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