Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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