i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
