whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize