remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
