I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
