Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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