I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
