if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
