i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
