Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
