Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
