Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
