I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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