yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
