somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
