I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We are two peas in an std pod
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
