just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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