No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize