I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
