yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
