i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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