Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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