so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize