it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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