Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize