I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
