i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
