Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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