you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
