Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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