She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Damn victory sex feels great
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
