i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
