i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
