i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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