My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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