apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
