you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
