there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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