she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
