Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
