new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
