i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
