Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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