I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
