If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
